Shattered by Love Read online

  Suddenly my sister’s words echo through my mind. Sometimes you just need a little push in the right direction. Did she know? Did she plan this? I wouldn’t put it past her.

  “Mom, can I get pancakes?” A soft voice pulls me from my whirling thoughts and I turn to my little boy and nod.

  “Sure, we can get Jayce to buy you one.”

  “If he’s my dad, is he going home with us?” Ben is too intelligent for his own good sometimes. The question catches me off guard and I don’t know how to explain the situation to him. To tell him it’s complicated would just bring up more questions.

  “I don’t know yet, baby. We will have to see.” He nods appeased with my answer for now. “Get out your jeans and t-shirt, let’s get you showered and changed.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I am pulling on a halter-neck top and a pair of faded jean shorts. Studying my reflection, my eyes have a sparkle in them, and I’m not sure if it’s because I am about to clear the air with the man who holds my heart, or that I may have a second chance. Maybe I can make this right.

  I can’t walk away from him this time because it’s not an option. I love him and I plan on telling him.

  “Mom, can we go now?” Ben whines from the other side of the door. I can hear the cartoons blaring on the television.

  “Be right there.” Tugging my hair into a messy bun, I dab on lip gloss and make my way back into the room to find Ben sitting on his bed with legs crossed staring at the TV. “Are you ready? Put your trainers on, monster.”

  I slip my feet into my ballet flats and grab my purse. Once the television is turned off, we make our way to the fountain. It’s warm, and the air is heavy with the scent of flowers while they set up for the dinner this evening and staff rush around us.

  “Baby sister.” I turn to find Lacey staring at me. “Hello Ben.” Her gaze falls to my son.

  “Hi Aunt Lacey.” He offers a smile, but doesn’t go up to her.

  “Have you seen him?” She questions, glancing up at me.

  “Yes, was that your idea?” My tone is hard and I can’t believe she was the one who brought him here.

  “It was. This needed to be handled, and you didn’t seem to want to do it, so I gave a little shove.”

  “As usual, Lacey knows best.” She pins me with a steely glare.

  “Ivy, he needed to know. There wasn’t a choice in the matter, also, he is the best photographer in Los Angeles, and you know how daddy always wants the best.”

  “And does daddy know who the best is?” The look on her face tells me that my father has no idea that Jayce will be here. This wedding will be one hell of an eye opener for my parents.

  It’s no secret it was my father’s fault that Jayce left me and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that my family may never speak to me again after this. Since I was disowned, only Lacey kept in touch. Not that I care.

  The reason they pushed me aside is because I didn’t want daddy’s money or help. My parents don’t know about Ben either and if they want a chance to be grandparents to my son, then they will learn to accept that I will be with Jayce, no matter what they say.

  “Look, Ivy, I spoke to him yesterday, he still loves you.” The lump in my throat makes it difficult to respond, so I nod. My sister really brought him here to get us back together. Maybe there was hope, if he still loved me, then we could work things out. I am sure we could.

  Just then the brunette who I saw with Jayce walks up to my sister. “Lacey, can we get the fitting done and I can finish up any adjustments?”

  “Sure. Kenna, this is my sister, Ivy.” Brown eyes grow wide as they take me in. Her smile falters, but there is recognition in her face. So she knows about me. Good. Because she is not getting Jayce, I offer my hand and a smile.

  “Hi Kenna, nice to meet you.”

  “Yes, likewise.”

  “Kenna is designing my wedding dress, and your dress. She’s the best.” Of course she is.

  “Great, I can’t wait to see it.”

  “Hi.” Ben’s little voice from behind me startles us all. The tension in the air is thick when Kenna’s gaze settles on the mini version of Jayce, her face pales. Yes, that’s our son.

  “Hi there, little guy.” Her gaze darts between us in shock.

  “This is Benjamin.” Giving her his full name, I quirk my mouth with a smirk. She’s clearly in shock, it’s written all over her face.

  “It’s good to meet you both, but I need to get back.” Spinning on her heel, she leaves me with my sister.

  “Well, that was interesting.” Lacey’s tone is amused, but there’s nothing funny about the fact that the man I love, and his… whatever she is, being in the same building all week.

  “I have to go. We’re meeting him for a picnic.” I offer. She nods and leans in, stunning me with a hug.

  “I hope you work it out, sister. You deserve love.” My mouth opens, but I can’t find the words to thank her. My sister has always been weary of Jayce, and this newfound love for the two of us is surprising. “Bye Ben, see you later.”

  “Bye Auntie Lacey.”

  The click of a door from the balcony catches my attention. When my gaze flits up, I find the love of my life staring down at me. He’s dressed in knee-length blue shorts, I can see his calves, they’re incredibly toned, and tanned. The tank top he’s wearing hugs his torso like a second skin, and I find myself licking my lips. I am turning into a brazen hussy, but I want him.

  The ache that has been so long dormant in me awakens with a new fire. The heat between us is still there, thick, unyielding, and it leaves me breathless.

  When he joins us downstairs, Ben runs up to him, showing him the racing cars I bought him for his birthday. “Do I call you dad?” The question leaves a heavy silence around us, and blue eyes pin me to the spot. I nod quickly, Jayce looks down at him and nods.

  “Yes, buddy, you can call me dad and we’ll get to know each other really well.” The emotion is thick in his voice and it drags my heart from the depths of pain I held onto for so long. He lifts him up onto his hip. “You ready?”

  “Yeah, Lace was just here, and Kenna.” As her name tumbles from my lips, I feel him stiffen. “Is she…?” I have no idea how to ask, or what to call her. Do I want to know? Not really. But I do.

  “She’s a friend, Ivy.” He hasn’t called me by my nickname, even though I understand he’s angry, I miss it. It would give me hope that we have a chance, but I guess I have to work at it. To get him to forgive me will be hard work, and I want it more than I thought I did.

  He turns to Ben and winks. “What do you say we get chocolate covered waffles, or pancakes, and ice cream?” Big blue eyes light up and I can’t help smiling at the father and son. Ben clings to Jayce like a lifeline. I just hope that line is strong enough to withstand the storm that’s headed our way.

  The sun is shining and we’re sitting under a tree watching Ben race his cars on the blanket I brought out with us. “Time to talk, Ivy. There’s no more hiding the past, we have to sort this out.” I turn my gaze on her and she inhales a deep breath , then smiles at our little boy.

  “The day you left me was difficult, when I went back home, I just hid in my room for a week and cried. Since I didn’t have to be at college, I wrapped myself in the misery and agony of losing you.” Her voice quiets and she inhales another deep breath. “I couldn’t talk to my parents… but Lacey, she knew. One day she came into my room and threatened not to leave until I told her what happened.”

  She shifts and her blue eyes settle on me again. “I told her everything. That’s when she told me about what my dad did. She overheard the conversation he had with you the day you… we…” She gestures with her hands, but her words fall silent. I know what she wants to say, but the lump in my throat doesn’t allow me to answer.

  “I… uhm… the nausea started weeks later. I was puking every day and feeling dizzy, so I went to the doctor and did a test and that’s when I found out I was pregnant with Ben. I went home, packed my bag
s and walked out of my childhood home. I didn’t ask them for anything, not wanting them to know. My father tried calling me, but I told him I wanted nothing to do with him.” She’s silent, but I can feel her gaze on me.

  “So you left the comfortable life?” She nods. “And Bryce? How does he fit into this?”

  “He was one of my classmates, you don’t remember me telling you about him?” Shaking my head honestly, I turn to her. “Well, he helped me. Found me an apartment, and he was there through…”

  “He was, and I wasn’t.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “No, it’s yours.” Silence falls around us again. The words hang in the air like weightless balloons, taunting us.

  “I know, Flash.” Sadness laces her words, its thick in her tone.

  “Your sister spoke to me yesterday. She told me you and me are destined to be together.” The chuckle at the memory of Lacey Devereaux being friendly rumbles in my chest. I meet Ivy’s intense gaze, her eyes sparkle in the sunlight and her honey blonde hair shimmers. She looks like an angel.

  An angel sent to heal me, or destroy me. I wonder which one she’ll choose.

  “She’s changed. My father is making her marry a man she doesn’t love, which allows her to gain an empire. The only problem is since Lacey is pregnant, there’s nothing she can do. She needs to marry Cole.”

  “She’s pregnant?” The shock in my voice is obvious, and she nods. “Who’s the father?”

  “Aiden, her college boyfriend. She’s still in love with him and the relationship between Cole and Lacey isn’t black and white. There’s so many shades of grey in between, it will not be easy for either of them. They’ve been together for four years now, but they don’t love each other.”

  “Does Lacey know about Ben?” Suddenly I realize she must have known. Why else would she be so convinced that I belong with Ivy?

  “Yes.” Her gaze falls on me. “Flash, I spent five years in agony. I missed you more than you can ever imagine. My heart felt like it had gone through a war, and I was on the losing side. I would wake up late at night crying out your name, begging you not to leave. An open wound festering, a gaping hole left because a part of me was gone.” When her hand reaches for me, I can’t move. I am paralyzed by the love I have for this woman. My soul recognizes hers and there’s nothing I can do, but accept her truth.

  “Ivy,” turning to face her, I take in the incredible beauty that still leaves me breathless. She still makes me feel like a man worthy of love. “Firefly, I am so angry. Forgiveness will take time for us both, but you not telling me about Ben, it’s difficult for me to know I missed so many years with my son. My own flesh and blood.” I fail at trying to keep my voice even because emotion breaks my words and they taper off.

  “You… I mean,” her eyes snap up to mine, and they’re filled with hope.

  “What?”

  “You called me, Firefly.”

  “Well that’s you. Or did you not want me to call you that?” Me calling her that holds so much more than just a name, it holds love, hope, and the trust she always gave me. It’s time I allow myself to trust her.

  “I do. Flash, it’s always been you, and when you call me that, I know not everything is lost. I hope you can find it inside yourself to forgive me. For me to have any hope of surviving this because I need you.” Her words envelop me like a thick blanket keeping me warm on a cold winter’s night.

  My blood boils with desire for her, I want to take her. Hurt her. Make her cry, then scream my name, and I have the perfect place in mind. “Let’s go. We need to fix this.” I jump up, offering her my hand and when she slips her soft warm hand in mine, I tug her up. She’s about to get fucked, and she will take everything I give her because today I will claim her, and she will never leave me again.

  We get Ben, grab the blanket, and rush back to the hotel. I glance at her and whisper. “Will your friend watch Ben for a while? I need alone time with you.” A shiver wracks her body when she realizes exactly what that means. Her nod is enough, and she pulls her phone from her pocket. Hitting dial, I listen to her side of the conversation.

  “Bryce, can you watch the monster for an hour,” she peers at me, but the look in my eyes tells her differently, “maybe two?” She’s quiet for while, before responding. “Thanks. See you in a few.” Her big blue eyes peer up at me. “He’s free to watch Ben.”

  “Perfect, because you will need time to recover.” A gasp escapes those plump lips I ache to drive my cock between. As we reach the hotel, Bryce is waiting in the reception area.

  “Bryce, this is Jayce.” I shake the man’s hand. He’s been there for my girl and my son so I can’t hate him too much.

  “Good to meet you.” He offers a friendly smile and I nod.

  “Same.” Kneeling I take Ben’s hand, “Buddy, you want to spend a couple hours with Bryce? Me and your mom need to fix a few things.”

  “Okay. Will I get another pancake?”

  I chuckle, lifting my gaze to the man I am about to entrust my son to.

  “Sure, monster. Let’s go.” Ben shocks me by circling his little arms around my neck.

  “Bye Dad. Bye Mom.” Ivy leans in to plant a loud kiss on his forehead.

  “Be good for Uncle Bryce okay?” He nods and latches a hold on the man.

  I turn to Ivy. “Be right back.” As I step up to the receptionist and lean in, I keep my voice low. “That empty room downstairs, can I use it for a couple of hours? I would like to test a few shots before the dinner tonight.”

  “Of course, sir, this is the key. Just make sure you lock it while you’re busy. And then when you leave.” With a smile, I nod and grab the copper key. When I turn, I find Ivy standing at the fountain, she’s bent over with her hand in the water. Her ass is pert in those cut-offs and so fucking sexy my cock throbs. The filthy thoughts I have in mind for that little ass have my body heating with desire.

  “Firefly.” She straightens and turns. Her grin lights up her face and my heart races realizing she can still disarm me with a smile.

  We head over to the room in question. I wanted to bring her in here because of the memories I had when I saw the chair, and the rugs and I don’t think she fully took it in when we were here this morning. It’s dark, but warm and I hear her breath quicken as she steps in beside me.

  “Flash.” I cut a glance at her.

  “No more words, you’re going to get punished, until those pretty blue eyes are tearing up.” We stare at each other for a moment while desire swirls around us. She knows I won’t hurt her without giving her pleasure. “Go kneel on the chair.” I point to one of the large chairs in the room.

  I need to fuck her and it will be rough. The ache to make her cry—to make her feel what I have been living with over the years she’s been gone—heats my blood. The fucking animal is loose, and she is about to get him right now.

  Once the lock clicks on the door, I stalk over to her. “Jeans down.” She obeys. So fucking good for me. When her shorts reach her thighs, her white lace panties have me groaning. I lift my hand and rain down a slap on her pert little ass. Her yelp is loud and my cock tents my shorts.

  Another spank, and another. My hand stings, but I don’t stop and she doesn’t ask me to. She wont because this is her accepting the punishment. She trembles, and I can smell her sweet scent from here. We’ve done a lot more in the past and I know she can handle it.

  I pull her panties down and her creamy skin is pink with my handprints, just how I like it. Mine. All fucking mine. “Did you miss me, Firefly?”

  “Yes, Flash.” Her soft murmur is so sexy and her whimper makes me want to ram into her tight body, into that pussy that was made for my cock. We fit together like puzzle pieces. Our souls connected the first time we laid eyes on each other and now I am back here with her, I am whole again.

  I can’t wait a minute longer to be inside her. Pushing my shorts and briefs to the floor and grip my cock. It’s like a steel rod, and I tease her with the crown, fe
eling her heat. “You still mine?”

  “Always yours.” Her pussy is ready for me, slick with desire. I reach around and place my hand over her mouth to keep her quiet. Without another word, I slam into her. Her muffled cry behind my hand spurs me on. I am balls deep inside the woman I love and her body accepts me like it was meant to.

  “You hid my son from me. You fucking kept him a secret.” With each word my hips slam against her. She squeals and pushes back against the brutal punishment. Her muffled cries cloud my mind with desire and I rain down a few more slaps on her cheeks, hard, unforgiving.

  Our bodies move in a fluid motion, there’s nothing that can sate me, but her. She knows it and I do too. This is where we’re meant to be. Together. I fuck my anger out on her and when she pushes back again, a deep primal growl rumbles deep in my chest. My base instincts are in full force to claim her like a fucking caveman.

  “I. Fucking. Love. You.” In that moment, I feel our shattered souls fuse and become one. We’re anchored to each other like lifelines keeping each other afloat.

  My thrusts are relentless and her body spasms and splinters with an orgasm that has her screaming behind my hand. Her tight pussy cinches me and my release shoots down my spine, filling her. Marking her. Claiming her. Taking what’s mine.

  I don’t move, the need to keep us connected runs through my veins. When my hand covering her mouth drops, her breathing is harsh and deep. Her body is still trembling and as I pull out slowly, a soft whimper escapes her lips. Once I’m dressed, I help her right herself. “Jayce, you can’t fuck me expecting this to be okay. Or is that how you feel we can fix things?”

  Our eyes meet and I lean in and for the first time since I saw her, my lips crash down on hers. I want her quiet, pliable in my hands because she has no fucking choice, but to be mine. The kiss is urgent, heady, and it intoxicates me. The feel of her sweet lips on mine is invigorating. Our first kiss in five years and I don’t want it to stop.